A First Date’s Guide To Avoiding Boring Conversations

Live Well Diary Team

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Avoiding Boring Conversations
Many people wonder how to avoid those boring conversations on a first date. So what do you do? How do you avoid the dull, uncomfortable conversations that will damper your evening?

Here are some tips to have a fun conversation and time together.

The art of a good conversation

A first date can decide whether or not two people will continue to see each other after that first meeting.

The outcome of a date often determines if two individuals will choose to meet in the future.

A good conversation is crucial during a date as it can leave a lasting great impression or potentially deter someone you’re interested in.

Both people are interested in hearing each other’s viewpoints. Engaging in conversation involves more than discussing yourself; it also entails showing curiosity about the other person’s narrative and asking questions to delve deeper into their experiences.

Stay away from controversial topics on your first date.

There are a few reasons why this is true.

When starting to date someone, it’s important that they feel a connection with you. Avoid discussing topics that might lead to disagreements based on opinions.

Even if you’re not aiming to make an impression on someone, it’s not certain that you will always agree. This implies that even if they are okay discussing it at the moment, they might not appreciate it if this becomes a problem in the future.

Topics to avoid on a first date:

  • Politics
  • Religion
  • Your ex
  • Mental health problems
  • Financial situation
Avoiding Boring Conversations - fun conversations

Tips for avoiding boring conversations

1) Be an active listener.

Being an active listener imeans using also nonverbal cues to show engagement. When talking to someone, try to lean in a bit, maintain eye contact, and occasionally use gestures like nodding. It would help to ask questions to encourage them to continue talking. A good strategy is to wait until they pause between sentences so that you can send a nonverbal cue or two before asking your question.

When on a date with someone who doesn’t show interest in your conversation, consider shifting the focus to their preferred music or books instead of solely discussing one’s interests.

2) Learn about your date’s interests and share your own.

Ask them about their favourite movies, books and music.

Ask questions like:

  • What’s your favourite book?
  • You could also enquire about their interests or hobbies to keep the conversation engaging.
  • Do you have any pets?
  • Which sports do you find enjoyable? What team(s)?
  • What’s your favourite restaurant? Why?
  • What music do you listen to? What’s your favourite song right now?
  • What kind of movies do you like? Have you seen any recent ones that were good/bad?
  • What do you love about living in [city name]?

One helpful suggestion is to talk about hobbies or interests that might not be immediately apparent.

Share a funny story about yourself, but do what is necessary, or it will seem forced. Start with your most engaging self-story. The best self-stories involve humour because they’re memorable, but don’t just tell jokes—find a way to make the story relevant to the conversation.

Make sure your date gets a chance to share. If one person dominates the conversation, it will quickly turn tedious.

Avoiding Boring Conversations - drinks out

3) Go into detail about one thing.

Feel free to discuss one thing in detail—a book, a movie or show you like, an album you’re listening to right now—anything that holds meaning for you.

Feel free to make jokes about yourself, too! We each have imperfections and aspects about which we feel embarrassed. These traits set us apart.

4) Ask a Question

Ask a question that is relevant to the conversation. Ask an open-ended question. An open-ended question allows for multiple answers and requires more than a yes or no response. These questions are great because they encourage your date to think about their answers rather than simply giving them out on command like you’re asking them something in school (which you probably were).

Avoid personal questions too early in the relationship (if ever). This point applies mainly if this person is new in town—but even if they’re not, there’s no need for details about their love life or past relationships unless things are serious between you! You don’t want things moving too fast, either. Let things progress naturally rather than forcing something that might never happen otherwise by getting too personal right off the bat (and then having regrets later.)

Ask follow-up questions based on their answers. After you’ve asked a question, they’ll give you an answer. You have some options here. For example, if someone tells you about their favourite book, ask them about it: “Oh yeah? What was your favourite part?” or “What other books have been similar?”

Don’t ask too many personal questions. While exceptions exist to this rule (like when you’re getting drinks), it’s generally considered polite not to bombard someone with an endless stream of personal queries on a first date. If your date offers some information about themselves (like telling you about their job), feel free to reciprocate by giving them something back—but only after asking if it’s okay for you two to share more details about each other.

Keep asking questions until both sides are done sharing stories or information. Also, listen for cues that your date needs time alone—they might be tired of talking about themselves!

5) Don’t be afraid of silence.

The conversation will inevitably dry up when you’re on a first date. There are no magic words to ensure this never happens and no way to ensure there will always be something interesting to say. You can’t force a conversation this way—and if you try too hard, things will get stilted and awkward for both of you.

It’s okay if your date doesn’t want to talk about their job or what they watched on TV last night; if they don’t have any hobbies or passions (or worse yet if they do); if they live at home with their parents and don’t know anything about independence. It’s also okay if they aren’t funny or charming (although, hopefully, they are). These things are not dealbreakers; most people have them, and it doesn’t mean anything wrong about them as people in general.

Sometimes, it’s better to let the other person speak than to fill every moment with noise.

Avoiding Boring Conversations - drinks out
6) Learn to hold a conversation without it being forced or awkward!

Be yourself. Don’t try too hard to impress—that makes people dislike each other! Just relax and enjoy being around this person whom fate has selected you.

Don’t force the conversation into any particular direction. If one topic isn’t working for either of you, wait until another opportunity presents itself! Sometimes talking about something new can be refreshing for both parties involved. For example: if someone always brings up work when they’re nervous (and I know from personal experience that this happens), consider making small talk about something else entirely instead, like sports or hobbies, so there’s no pressure on either party during the introduction phase.

7) Managing nervousness

Remember that your date is as nervous and maybe just as uncomfortable. If they get anxious or make awkward jokes, don’t let it throw you off your game—they’re trying to ease the tension. Try not to be overly analytical of everything they say.

Don’t worry about impressing them with all the knowledge at your disposal; this isn’t a job interview! And if you’ve got nothing interesting going on in life right now, there’s no need for pretence—just say so!

Avoiding Boring Conversations- having fun
8) Eye Contact

Make sure to use eye contact when talking. Eye contact can make a person appear confident and reliable compared to those who avoid it, so it’s worth trying.

9) Avoid a negative attitude

It’s easy to start a conversation with, “I hate my job,” or “I’m so over this guy.” These kinds of remarks will only give the impression of your bad mood and are not enjoyable or engaging. Do not give off this impression on a first date, so try to avoid discussing things that make you sound negative or unhappy.


All in all, the best way to have a good first date is to relax and try to have fun. Try not to focus on boring, superficial topics. More than anything else, try to make it fun by sharing your personality and experiences with the other person. When you take that approach, rather than trying to impress or show off your knowledge, you’ll enjoy the date more and have more opportunities to see if there’s any chemistry between you.

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